Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
