I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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