But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
