the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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