i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
