you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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