I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
