i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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