32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No more Irish car bombs ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
