idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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