Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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