it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize