remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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