How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
