Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
