He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
