I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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