the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
