i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
