What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You may now shotgun with the bride
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
