and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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