i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
