she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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