He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
