bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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