does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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