listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
