very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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