conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
