i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize