whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I had to cum in my sink.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
