We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
