They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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