Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
