If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
