We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
