I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
