The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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