this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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