its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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