how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize