sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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