I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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