Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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