Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
