So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
