nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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