please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
