I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
