i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
