im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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