I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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