It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize