I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Randomize
