God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
