Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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