I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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